Putting the Pieces Back Together
by Xena Avenger
Summary: Buffy is living her life in Rome, when out of the blue, someone she thought died two years ago shows up...bringing trouble with him, as always. Buffy/Angel
1. Surprises

A Post Chosen/Not Fade Away. Comics do not exist. Takes place in Italy two years after NFA.

* * *

A lone figure walked down the deserted road, heels clicking against the ancient cobblestone street.

She didn't wander idly as many an unlucky tourist who strolled the Roman streets threw the darkness of the night, many that did not find their destination, and many never arrived home again.

No, not this girl.

She walked with a purpose, she was on patrol.

She was Buffy Summers, and she wasn't afraid of the dark.

The dark was afraid of her.

Rather those that thrived in the dark were afraid of her.

Buffy was a Slayer, no longer the 'only girl in the world' but one of almost 2,000.

However, she was the oldest of them, in both age and tenure. This past birthday, she superseded the age of the past eldest living slayer, sadly enough that age had only been 26.

The life of a slayer was not a long one, that was something she had known since her first watcher Merrick called her into service one decade ago.

It felt like a lifetime, and to her, it was. She had only been 16 when her world was upended, she had been thrust into the life, or unlife rather, of the vampire world.

However, against all odds, she defeated everything she faced, even death, twice.

Buffy knew her life was never going to be normal, heck she wouldn't even know what to do with a normal life.

Normalcy had been a dream for her ever since her calling a decade ago, but over time, it had faded.

Today she lived for tomorrow only, nothing else mattered to her anymore, she couldn't afford it to.

...

As Buffy walked along Via Caio Cestio street, towards the Cimitero Acattolico (Non-catholic Cemetery), she let her mind drift.

The week had been slow for her, only three vampires in all, and she didn't expect to find much in the cemetery, so she let her guard drop just a bit.

_'Wonder what Willows up to right now, if her and Oz worked out alright. Bet Xander is still chasing that girl he told me about last week, he sounded like he really liked her. Giles never calls anymore, I guess his wife keeps him busy.'_

She smiled; all her friends were in relationships, she was truly happy for them.

Buffy had given up on love years ago, the only man she ever really loved, wasn't a man at all, not in the technically living, breathing sense.

She hadn't let herself think of that tall, dark, angelic faced man in a long time, and was going to continue not thinking of him, she didn't really want to spend the next three nights crying herself to sleep…she had done that too often to count.

Buffy's attention was abruptly pulled back to her surroundings as a tingling sensation raced up her back.

She was being watched.

The stake she kept in her back pocket was in her hand in a second. Her eyes filtered through the darkness, searching for her stalker.

The tingling intensified and she turned towards the feeling, ready to strike.

Under the streetlamp, not two feet away, a vampire materialized from the shadows.

His eyes linked with hers, and the stake in her hand lowered.

Buffy stood in dumbstruck awe, the vampire stood his ground.

A single word escaped her lips, before her throat closed tightly shut.

"Angel?"

...

"Buffy" he said, as their traditional greeting towards one another.

He stood silently, letting her adjust to his sudden appearance after a two year hiatus.

His throat was dry, his sweaty palms buried deeply in his leather trench coat, his stance shifting from one leg to the other, as he nervously awaited her reaction.

She looked him over quickly, she noticed he had done the same.

A long moment past then Buffy's throat reopened, "Angel, what…what are you doing here? You were…just gone…I thought…Everyone said you were dead." She finally managed to say.

He shifted uncomfortably again, his eyes looking anywhere but hers, "I know. I'm sorry. It's…it's been awhile."

She shook her head, "No Angel, it past 'awhile' about two years ago." She said sharply, she noticed the words seemed to hurt him since he visibly winced. She wanted to feel bad, to apologize, instead she continued to yell at him, "L.A disappeared! The entire city, gone! The news said it was an earthquake. We thought you died. We held a service." As she spoke her words lost some of their bite, but he still winced at the meaning.

"I…I'm sorry." He finally mumbled, eyes refusing to leave the ground.

She glared at him, "Your sorry? Yeah, great. That fixes everything! Why are you here Angel?" she demanded, moving closer, to look into his face.

His eyes finally met with hers when she stuck her face in his, he took a deep breath and spoke quietly, "I…wanted to see you."

Years of buried emotions threatened to break free, to overwhelm her.

For two years she had thought the worst of him, now suddenly he was standing right in front of her? What could he possibly be thinking? She had half a mind to stake him. How could he do this to her, show up out of the blue and act like he was never gone?

"You wanted to see me?" She repeated back, she shook her blond head and laughed, stepping back from him while she did. "Wow, Angel, I really don't know how to respond to that. All this time, and you suddenly decide you want to come see me?"

His eyes dropped back down in submission, a pained expression clear on his face. "That's not all." He barely whispered.

If she hadn't been a Slayer she might not have heard him, but she did and turned her full attention back to him. "Oh, there's more? Ok fire away" she said, her voice a mix of anger and sarcasm.

"Buffy, I…I wanted to tell you something important. I thought…you should be the first to know..."

He would have continued, but she raised her left hand to silence him.

"No, never mind, just stop Angel. It doesn't matter anymore. Nothing you say here tonight is going to make any difference. I'm glad you're ok, really I am. But I grieved for you, I got over you. I moved on."

Angel felt the knife as it slid into his chest, it pierced his heart, cleaved it in two.

When his eyes looked down, he didn't see blood, he didn't see the knife, he didn't even see the hand that held it, but he still felt it, and it was agony.

He took a step back, Buffy's words still dripping with his blood.

His eyes fell upon the gold ring sitting on her ring finger, '_She's married?'_

He wanted to grab her, hold her, tell her everything that happened to him the past two years, but he didn't.

'_She moved on_. _She belongs to someone else.' _He nodded, his body numb, "I'm…sorry I bothered you." He managed to mumble, then turned and walked away from her.

He had no idea where he was going to go, no thoughts of what he would eat, where he would sleep. His life had only just begun, and it was already over. He had nothing left to fight for…

...

Buffy watched him turn and leave, she couldn't bear watching him walk away from her again, so she turned her back.

She focused on the glass window in front of her, her eyes caught his reflection as he disappeared around the corner.

The second he was gone, she felt the emotional dam break.

A single tear rolled down her cheek, soon it was followed by another, then another. After a moment her hand when to her mouth and she broke down.

Buffy fell heavily down to the cold cobblestone curb, her legs too weak to hold her, her eyes too watery to see.

She wanted so badly to grab him the second she saw him, to hold on and never let go. She had dreamed of him showing up since she first heard L.A vanished, and now that it actually happened; she had ordered him away without even hearing an explanation.

'_How could I?'_ She thought. '_I love him so god damn much! But we can never be together, it will cost him his soul! I can't handle it anymore! How can I let him touch me, kiss me, if we can never truly be together in every way? I can't have him as just a friend, I need him as everything. If I can't have it all, I can't have any.'_

After a few minutes, she began to pull herself back together. Her heart beat heavy in her chest, her body exhausted from emotional drain. She slowly began to walk back towards her apartment, dawn would be here soon, the local demon population calling it quits until tomorrow night.

As she walked, something was nudging at her brain, something important, something she had missed. She tried to figure it out, but whatever it was, eluded her.

Then it hit her.

A fist.

Buffy was knocked off balance, but she quickly regained her footing.

A vampire lunged out of the shadows, his gruesome demonic features pulled back in a hungry predatory snarl.

It wanted blood, and was running out of night in which to feed.

"Not now!" she huffed.

In a second, she had whipped her stake out and slammed it home.

The vamp dusted as she walked away, her mind still trying to untangle the events of the last twenty minutes.

She drifted by a shop, one she often past on purpose to glance at the pretty jewelry and stylish outfits.

Tonight all she could see in the window front was her own reflection.

Her eyes suddenly widened, '_I saw his reflection. Vampires don't have reflections.'_

Buffy mentally kicked herself for not noticing sooner. '_But what does it mean? If I saw his reflection…is he…_'

No, her mind shot down the thought. She wouldn't let herself think anything right now.

She had to find him, make his finish what he was going to say. If she didn't, this was going to haunt her for the rest of her life.

Buffy turned and ran in the direction Angel had gone.

...

_'He couldn't have gotten far'_ she thought as she ran.

The narrow streets flew past her as she went, her eyes darting around constantly, looking for any sign of him, her senses reaching out for him.

She was about to give up, the lightning of the dawn would have drove him inside, when she finally spotted him.

Her heart skipped a beat when she saw him, he was standing on a bridge over the Tiber River, and he was very close to the edge.

...

She stopped running immediately, she walked cautiously but steadily towards him, she didn't want to startle him into doing something really stupid.

"Angel?" she called out to him, to let him know she was there.

He didn't respond, she wasn't sure he even heard her.

As she closed the distance between them, she realized something else; the sky was growing brighter, the sun was coming up, and he was waiting for it.

Fear quickened her steps and motivated her forward.

His gaze never left the turning water below, he seemed almost mesmerized by it.

When she got close enough, she noticed his cheeks were wet, his eyes red, and he was crying silently.

"Angel?" she said again, this time she was close enough to lay her hand on his forearm, so she did.

He jumped, obviously oblivious to her approach.

"I'm sorry" she said as she came to stand beside him, not only for startling him, but for everything she had said earlier.

He looked over at her, both shocked to see her, and at the same time, not.

"Angel, the sun." She said quickly, realizing the deadly rays would shoot out over the horizon any minute.

"I know." He said, looking up at the sky, making no move to leave.

"Listen, I know I said some mean things, but this isn't the way. Come inside, we can talk things over. Angel please!" she begged, grabbing his arm and trying to drag him out of harms way.

"Buffy, It's alright..." He tried to say but she cut him off.

"No It's not alright! I can't let you kill yourself over this!" She cried, again trying to drag him off the bridge.

He took a few steps, then held onto the railing, halting her too. "Buffy" he tried again, but the sun beat him too it.

She looked up as the sun fell on his face; he shut his eyes as the light touched him, a slight smile as he felt its warmth.

She was about to throw him to the ground when she realized, the sun wasn't burning him.

"But? Huh?" she asked, confused.

He reached down and grasped her hand, the first thing she noticed was the comfort it provided, and the second that it was warm.

He lifted her hand and laid in on his chest, over his heart. Tears filled her eyes as she felt his chest rise and fall with breath, the warmth and the steady heartbeat beneath.

"O my god…You…Your…" She stuttered.

"Human," he finished for her "Yeah, I noticed." He said, then let go of her hand, but she didn't drop hers from his chest.

She looked up into his face, still pale but not so much in death as lack of tan, seeing it in the sun caused a shiver to run down her spine.

She shook her head, "How?" she asked him, hoping he would answer.

He looked down at the rushing water beneath them, "I'm not really sure."

She moved closer, still fascinated with how warm he was, "Have you…been like this…since L.A.?" she asked slowly, wondering if he was alive the whole time she was grieving over his death.

He quickly shook his head, and smiled weakly, "No, no this is…new. Almost a week."

...

They stood side by side in comfortable silence for a few minutes, Angel content to lean against the bridge railing, in the warm morning sun, Buffy content in just watching him breathe.

After a while, Buffy spoke, not quiet looking at him, "What now?"

His fingers twitching idly on the rail, he thought a moment, wondering exactly what she meant, but before he could answer, his stomach made itself known.

She looked over at him, an eyebrow raised at the growl the came from within him.

He looked down, embarrassed, "Ahh…well, I guess I should go take care of that first."

She laughed at the sight of his cheeks turning bright red, "Yeah, you should. Gees, when's the last time you ate?"

His face scrunched in thought a moment, then he answered, "Actually, I really haven't."

Her laugh faded, almost angry, "You haven't? Angel if you're human, you need to eat." Before he could answer, she looped her arm into his, and dragged him along. "Come on, I could use some breakfast myself."

...

A short time later, Buffy and Angel were seated outside at a small café, each drinking a coffee and scoffing down assorted breakfast pastries.

They sat talking for hours, avoiding sensitive subjects like Angel's whereabouts the past two years, and a majority of their time together as a couple, and focusing on casual subjects and exchanging funny stories.

Most of the verbal conversation was one sided, Buffy having a larger supply of humorous material than Angel over the last few years, however, Angel was more than happy to listen to her talk.

He missed listening to her rants, he had always found them cute and amusing.

He injected now and again, adding comments or asking for clarification on some subjects.

Buffy started to feel bad, wondering if she was boring him. For so long, she would date these guys that would rant on forever about nothing, and she could never share her stories, since they all involved either magic, demons, or an elaborate plot to destroy the world, or in some cases, all three.

With Angel, he knew the intimate details of her life, _and body_, he didn't need protection from the Slayer's secrets.

'_It's refreshing to be able to just talk freely for a change._' She thought happily.

Buffy was about to start another story when the manager walked up to their table. In Italian, he told them they would either have to order more food, or move on since they needed the table. It was noon by then and the lunchtime crowd was filing in.

They decided to leave, Buffy left some cash on the table and they started walking aimlessly down the busy street.

"I should go." Angel said abruptly.

Buffy focused on his face a moment, and suddenly realized how exhausted he looked; she wondered when he last slept. "Where are you staying?" she asked, both curious and concerned.

He shrugged, "I have a place."

She stopped walking beside him and crossed her arms over her chest, he noticed her stop after a few steps and turned to face her.

When he turned, she asked, "Is that Angel speech for 'I'm living in a cardboard box on the street.'?"

He chuckled, "No…a box? Sounds like way too much of a commitment."

She shook her head, "I have a couch available, if…you want to crash for a few days?" she tried not to sound too desperate to take him home with her.

He gave her a weak smile, "I can't…I don't want to intrude. Anyways, your husband might disapprove of you dragging strays home with you."

Buffy looked at him quizzically, "My husband?"

He pointed to her left ring finger, and the gold band adorning it "You have a wedding ring." She lifted her hand and looked down at the ring a moment.

'_Oh, whoops!_'


	2. Secrets

...

She looked up sheepishly, "Oh, this. It's not actually a wedding ring. I sort of wear this to…ahh…keep guys from trying to pick me up at the bar. I'm not really married"

She pulled off the ring and slipped it into her pocket, then raised her hand and held down her thumb and pinky while holding up the three middle fingers, "Slayer's honor."

He still looked uncomfortable with the idea, but she looped her arm around his and dragged him off towards her place.

As they walked she talked, "You won't be intruding, really, like I told you before, Dawn stays at school most of the time and I don't have a lot of friends here. It's nice to have someone to talk to, someone I can be Slayer-Buffy around, and not Pretend-normal-Buffy."

He still looked uncomfortable with the idea, but Buffy had the Slayer strength advantage over him.

...

About twenty minutes later, Buffy stopped in front of a large apartment complex, yellow stucco sandwiched between red brick, and each of the floors had a front and back patio, many of which were covered in houseplants.

Buffy gestured to the top, "I'm in the penthouse."

Angel nodded, "Nice." He said, looking over the building.

She grabbed his hand and led him inside.

The short elevator ride was quiet, in a few seconds they were walking down the hall towards her door.

Buffy unlocked the door and walked in, Angel stood just beyond the threshold.

He looked down at it, she turned and watched him as he slowly walked over it.

"Still getting used to the whole 'no invitation required' thing?" She asked.

He looked up, a slight reddish tint swept over his cheeks, "Old habits." He said with a shrug.

Once he was inside, she shut the door behind him and took his coat and hung it on the coat rack with hers. She led him on a quick tour, the placed wasn't huge, but large enough for her and Dawn when she was home for college breaks.

The apartment led straight into a small living room, neutral tones were offset by deep red throw pillows and blankets on the couch and matching loveseat.

Next she showed him Dawn's room, a lilac bedspread covered the bed, various clothes and items were piled atop it.

"Last time she was here, she was in a hurry looking for something, I thought about neatening it up for her, but I never moved past the thought stage. Plus she'll probably blow a gasket if I did anyways." Buffy tried to explain for the mess.

He grinned and nodded, knowing full well what young woman could be like when you mess with their stuff, especially their clothes. Cordy popped into his head, he frowned at the painful memory.

Next she showed the kitchen, an open area with appliances and counter top running in an 'L' along the walls.

A small rectangular table sat against the other wall, four chairs spread around it.

Outside there was a large patio, a table with two chair sat in the corner.

The large bathroom was mostly just space, a double sink counter top and tub/shower combo the only highlights.

Lastly was Buffy's bedroom, he glanced in, noticing the vanity was set up like the one she used to have in Sunnydale, assorted beauty supplies with pictures and knickknacks.

'_No man items, I guess she wasn't lying when she said she wasn't married.'_ He thought hopeful.

Her weapons chest sat at the foot of the bed, a large wardrobe sat in the corner.

He noticed the place didn't have any closets, just bureaus and wardrobes.

...

Back in the living room she indicated the couch, "Why don't you sit, I'll grab you a drink. Coke? Juice? Water?"

As he sat he looked up, "Water's fine" he replied.

She nodded and disappeared around the corner to get the drinks, talking as she went.

When she came back around the corner she immediately stopped idly rambling when she noticed Angel had fallen asleep where he sat.

_'Poor guy, he's more tired than I thought'._

She smiled and put the glasses down on the coffee table.

As quietly and gently as she could, she laid him down, removed his shoes and pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and spread it over the sleeping form.

She left one of the glasses on the table, if he woke and wanted a drink, then took the other and went and sat out on the patio.

...

The afternoon sun was warm, she always loved the way it tingled on her skin.

As she sat looking out over the city, her city, she thought the view was much better at night.

Then her mind wandered back to the man sleeping on her couch; she turned around and could see him threw the glass doors, she watch him a few minutes.

She had never forgotten the love she once had for him, nor had it ever really gone away. It got moved aside a few times, rearranged in her heart to make room for new interests, but most of those interests she eventually evicted.

Her heart could only hold so much, sometimes she needed to make room, but his love had never made it on the purge list. It was there, deep inside, she always knew she would love him forever and that it would never change.

She looked away, not wanting her gaze to wake him.

_'What happens now? He's human, no more curse, no more creature of the night, no more red tape to get in the way. Would it work like this? Is he even still interested? He did say he wanted to see me. No, I can't concentrate on this right now. I'll go crazy.' _

She looked over at him again as she stood and reentered the apartment, '_I'll go shopping, that always helps._'

She took a quick shower, changed clothes and wrote him a note in-case he awoke before she returned.

...

She was only gone for a few hours, not wanting to leave him alone for too long.

She was curious to find she actually missed him over the two-ish hours she was gone.

When she walked in the door a pleasant aroma greeted her nose.

"Mmm, what is that?" she said to herself as she dropped her shopping bags in her room and followed the smell into the kitchen.

Angel hadn't been on the couch when she walked in, but found him by the stove, stirring something that smell absolutely delicious in a pan.

"You cook?" she asked as she walked in, he jumped a bit and she couldn't help but laugh that she had startled him.

'_He seems more easily startled lately_.' She noticed.

He grinned, "I've been known to put a decent meal together, Cordy said so anyways."

Buffy nodded, "It must be true if Cordelia said it, she's one of the fussiest people I know. What's she been up to? Have to talked to her lately?"

A pained look crossed his face, in a low voice he said, "She passed about three years ago."

"Oh, I'm sorry." She replied sincerely, she might not have liked Cordelia as a person, but she wasn't happy to hear she had died.

"Hungry?" he asked to change the subject.

"Borderline starved." She replied, only having eaten a real meal that morning with him at the café. "What is it?" she asked taking a deep breath of the yummy smelling food.

"Just some stuff from your refrigerator, leftovers mostly." He said as he opened one of the jars on her spice rack and added a few sprinkles.

Buffy raised an eyebrow, "Huh? You can eat those? I just thought it was for decoration."

He didn't know if she was making a joke or not, but he smiled one of his classic half smiles and told her they were indeed edible.

...

Ten minutes later they were seated at the kitchen table and Buffy was saying, "Mmm" at just about every bite.

"With culinary skills like these you could be a chef, hey, there you go! You can open a restaurant! That's a nice normal job, you know to go along with the being nice and normal now. You can call it Angel's, ok yeah not very original, but it's catchy. I can eat there every night and dance on the tables in the evening wearing plastic party hats while wrestling demons…" She trailed off noticing he wasn't listening, which was obvious since he completely ignored her last sentence.

"Angel?" she asked, then she waved her hand in front of his face.

"Angel!"

He jumped, "What? I umm…sorry. I guess I'm a little distracted." He replied sheepishly at being caught zoned out.

"Ya think?" she said, adding, "What's up? You've been jittery all day. Talk to me Angel, what happened to you, where have you been, how are you alive?" She more or less demanded, more rather than less.

He looked at his plate a moment, then out the window, he then pushed his seat out from the table and stood, quickly retreating into the living room.

Buffy followed hot on his heels.

...

She caught his arm and paused him in front of the couch. When he didn't turn to look at her she pushed him down into the sofa, sitting beside him with her hand still firmly but gently locked onto his arm to keep him there.

"Angel, please, just tell me what's going on."

He was silent, she thought he wouldn't answer but he did, slowly but surely.

"Hexlar. He's a demon bounty hunter. Been after me for almost two years now. I'm not sure how, but he's the one that made me mortal. I don't even now how long it will last. All I do know is he wants me dead, and he won't stop until I am."

She turned his face towards hers, their eyes met briefly and he looked away.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here. I just…" he trailed off and went silent.

"Just what?" she urged.

He took a breath, a needed breath, which still was weird for him. "I…just wanted to see you again. I was just going to look, see that you were happy, then I was going to go."

"You didn't." she stated.

"No, I knew you sensed me. I wouldn't have been able to outrun you, not like this." He admitted.

They were both silent a while, then she broke the silence, "You came to say good-bye."

He looked down then nodded.

She got mad at him for that, "So you gave up? Decided to let this guy kill you? Hello! Slayer here! I'm designed to kill creeps like this Hexagon guy." She scolded at him.

He closed his eyes, "I'm just so tired Buffy. I've fought for so long now, sacrificed so much, and lost too many people along the way. If you include a century of hell, I'm almost 400 years old. Maybe it's my time, I think I'm ready." He admitted.

Buffy punched him hard in the arm.

"Ow!" he yelped and rubbed the already forming bruise.

"Good, maybe the pain will smarten you up. You're not a quitter Angel. You're not a coward. You don't back down. I know that because you taught them to me. Now if you expect me to sit here and let you get yourself killed, you're a lot dumber than I thought."

He looked over at her, reading the sheer determination in her face. He felt a lot of pride in her in that moment, a lot of love too.

"Would you really just throw this away?" she asked with her hand laying over his beating heart.

He looked down at her fingers, perfectly manicured and painted with light pink polish.

His eyes rose to look into hers, hazel green orbs demanding an answer.

"It might not last." He told her.

She shook her head, "Doesn't matter. There are very few things in this world worth sacrificing your life, this isn't one of them."

He nodded, a sad look crossed his lips as he remembered Christmas of 1998, "Yeah, Strong is fighting. It's hard, and it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do. I remember."

She nodded, "Good, because I have no idea how to make that magic snow thing happen again."

He let a small grin escape, "That was pretty neat."

"Yeah, it was." She agreed.

...

She shifted away from him and rose to her feet, "You're exhausted Angel, lay down, sleep. We'll figure out this bounty hunter guy tomorrow." She urged.

He nodded and did as she asked.

After cleaning up the kitchen she noticed him curled up on her couch, sound asleep.

'_He looks like he hasn't slept in years…maybe he hasn't? Not with that demon chasing him..._'

He seemed too motionless; she walked over just to comfort herself that he was actually sleeping and not revamped. His quiet snores reassured her he was still among the living.

...

She wandered into her room and pulled out the items she had bought, noticing her lack of guy friendly things, she had purchased him a an outfit, some sweats to sleep in, and a few men's toiletries, like a toothbrush and razor.

She hoped she bought the right size clothes, he didn't physically look any different from the day he stood shirtless in her mother's kitchen as she patched up his wound caused by The Three, but it had been a long, long time since that day, a long time to try and remember what his size was.

She was sitting on her bed daydreaming of a shirtless Angel and more innocent times when the loud crash of shattering glass pulled her back to reality. 'What the Hell?' she wondered as she ran into the living room.

...

She arrived in time to watch a very pissed demon raise a sword over Angel's head.

With experienced Slayer speed, she jumped across the distance and kicked at the demon's head, knocking him away from a half-conscious looking Angel.

"Got yourself a bodyguard Angelus? A Slayer at that…you really are pathetic…I should do this job for free, you give demons everywhere a bad reputation." The demon spoke as he defended against Buffy's assault.

"You're a lively one ain't cha?" He asked the Slayer as they fought, he seemed to be defending himself easily.

"Pretty one too. Names Hexlar, please to assassinate in your presence."

He punched her hard and she flew into Dawn's room, colliding with the wardrobe and collapsing in a painful heap of broken wood and ruined clothes.

...

"Now Angelus, I do believe it's time for me to kill you."

Angel had been recovering from a blow to the head received earlier when Hexlar broke into Buffy's apartment via back porch glass doors.

The former vampire managed to get to his feet, wiping the blood from his eyes.

He knew he was no match for the demon, not as a man anyways.

Didn't mean he wasn't going to try.

"This is between you and me, leave the girl out of it." Angel demanded, hoping Buffy wouldn't hate him too much for dying in her living room.

He knew this was going to end with him dead.

'_Why did I come here? Why did I have to involve her? Me and my stupid 'just see her one more time crap' will probably get her killed…or more likely get her apartment ruined and her cursing my grave for it.' _

Angel took a battle stance and prepared to fight to the last.

_'At least I'll get to die a man._' was his only comfort.

"Don't know Angelus, that Slayer has a wanted list almost as long as yours. She just might make me enough to retire."

Angel clenched his fists, "I'd like to see you try."

Hexlar smirked, his pointed teeth protruding from his blue lips, "I bet you would, too bad you'll be dead."

With that said the fight began.

...

Hexlar was a good two feet taller than Angel, a thin frame was deceiving to the strength he carried.

Blue skin covered his body, quill like spines for hair and knife sharp claws adorned each of his six fingers.

Hexlar was a demon bounty hunter, and he always got his 'man', whether it be human or demon or something in between. As long as the job paid well, he'd kill just about anything.

Angel dove forward, hoping to take out the demon's legs; he knew he wouldn't win this match playing fair, so he went for a low blow to bring him down to the ground.

That didn't work out so well.

Hexlar lifted his knee the last second and Angel's face was smashed into it, blood exploded from the broken nose that ensued.

The newly human man dropped to the ground, tears blurring his vision from the pain, mortal pain he wasn't used to yet.

The blue demon kick his prey ferociously in the stomach and then the ribs, Angel felt something give on the second blow.

He coughed, the very familiar taste of blood in his mouth made him cringe.

Hexlar bent down to finish this pathetic excuse for a fight and crush Angel's neck, but the former managed to spin away, throwing a handful of shattered glass into the blue eyes for good measure.

Hexlar roared in pain as his eyes bled, "Playtime's over, time to die." He growled as he lifted his leg, ready to stomp Angel into mush.

He would have succeeded too, had a very pissed Slayer not tackled him to the ground first.

"That wardrobe was my mother's!" Buffy yelled as she wailed punches down on the hunter's face.

After a few blows the demon managed to regain its senses and punch Buffy off.

"Ok, Slayer bitch first, blood-rat second." Hexlar amended his earlier killing order as he stood and prepared to fight.

Buffy circled him, more that ready to rip this sshole a new one…or two...or three.

A moment later Slayer and demon were locked in battle.

...

Angel shook off his fatigue and clawed at consciousness, '_Damn, I've barely been in this fight and I feel like I've gone twenty rounds, how do humans handle this?_'

He looked up and watched the fight before him. '_Crap. Buffy needs a weapon._'

He looked over towards her bedroom and quickly forced himself to stand and limp into it.

He collapsed on the floor in front of the weapons chest, his right hand shredded by the glass he threw earlier he was forced to fiddle with the lock with his left.

He blinked blood from his eyes and pushed the spots he saw dancing in his vision to the back of his head.

'_No, not now, pass out after you get Buffy weapons._'

He managed to get the trunk open and rummaged for something suitable.

He grabbed a few knives, a spiked mace and a crossbow, awkwardly and painfully he walked back towards the battle, hoping he made it on time and he didn't pass out on the way.

...

Buffy felt the ground smash into her back as she struggled for air.

Hexlar had her pinned beneath him, his full weight crushing down on her throat.

The bounty hunter loved to strangle and suffocate his kills, it was the reason he got out of bed – or the slime pit rather – each morning.

The Slayer felt the world drift, her lungs were screaming for air, her head felt a hundred times too heavy.

'_And the day started out so well…'_

_...  
_

Hexlar's grip suddenly released as he screamed in pain.

Angel stood by her bedroom door, leaning against the wall for support, and held her crossbow in his left hand.

He was trying to reload it, but the tendons were torn in his right hand, making it almost impossible to hold while pulling the string back.

'_Damn it, stupid human coordination._'

Angel cursed himself for not delivering a deathblow on his first and seemingly only shot. He dropped the useless weapon and held the mace, hoping to buy Buffy enough time to kill this creep.

He spun the ball; the muscles in the arm knowing how but his human strength and coordination not quiet up to speed.

'_I had to pick the mace…dumbass._'

...

Hexlar charged him, Angel swung the ball and to his astonishment his aim was true.

The spikes slammed into the demon's face before he could duck.

Angel's euphoria was short lived, two blue clawed hands shot up and ripped the mace for its face, the spikes doing a wonderful job in disfiguring, but not nearly enough damage to bring down the raging demon.

Hexlar screamed furiously in his native tongue, then ran at the human man barely standing before him.

Hexlar drove into him, crashing them both though the wall and into Buffy's bedroom.

Angel felt the world blacken as his consciousness slipped away, however peace was too agonizingly short.

His eyes shot open as the demon rammed a broken piece of wood through his chest.

...

Buffy collided with the demon, throwing off his aim.

A second later she sunk one of the two knifes Angel brought into the demon's back, the second she quickly used to decapitate it…just in case.

Hexlar screamed, then his scream ended forever.

His body convulsed then shattered like glass, disappearing as if he was never there.

"I love it when they do that!" Buffy said with a smile.

Her smile dropped when she noticed Angel lying at her feet, a length of wood protruding from his chest.

"Angel!" she cried and collapsed beside him, his eyes were open but unfocused.

She knew he was still alive, his horrible ragged gasping for breath was a terrible indication.

"Angel, can you hear me?" she pleaded as she slid a hand along his cheek and inspected the wound, it wasn't in his heart as Hexlar intended, but as a human it didn't need to be in order to kill him.

Angel's eyes slowly focused on her, "Buffy?" he croaked, barely more than a wet cough, blood thick on his tongue.

"Shh, don't talk, just breathe ok? I'm calling am ambulance, you'll be ok. Just stay with me, stay awake. Angel? Angel!"

He heard her calling him, but it was getting further away and he couldn't answer.

The darkness was calling to him, promising relief from the pain.

He didn't want to die, but he couldn't fight the allure of peace.

Buffy screamed his name as he went limp, as oblivion took him in its comforting embrace.

…

TBC...


	3. Shattered

Beep, beep, beep.

The noise was annoying, it gave his mind something to focus on when all he wanted was nothing.

Simple, peaceful nothing.

Beep, beep, beep.

'_So much for nothing._'

He thought he could hear someone talking to him, a sweet and gentle voice, a familiar voice, Buffy's voice.

He listened to it, not really conscious or aware, but let the words drift along his mind.

He didn't understand what the words said, but he could feel the overall idea; she was asking him to live.

It was a simple thing to ask of one, but at the same time a horrible burden.

Life, living, it contained so much.

There was joy and happiness, but not for him.

For him there was pain and suffering.

There was guilt and remorse, loneliness and heartache, sorrow and grief.

For Angel life was hard, it was demanding, and often it was torture.

So much of his life he regretted, he wondered if he just let go and slipped away now, if he would be welcomed in heaven, find peace in any afterlife…or would he return to hell? Would he suffer for all eternity this time, not just a mere century as with Acathla?

He felt something he hadn't been aware of earlier; he felt his heart beating in his chest.

It felt sluggish and weak, but it was there, it was pounding out the rhythm of life.

His lungs burned with a horrible intensity, the air he took in and out forced with a machine, he could feel the tube running down his throat.

Was this worth waking up for? Was he able to bear the pain of living again?

Or could he just surrender, take the easy path for once?

He felt something, a different sensation, someone was squeezing his left hand, he could tell his right was bandaged in a cast.

He felt warm lips brush his forehead, a tearful voice calling for him to fight, to open his eyes, to not leave her again.

'_Buffy_.'

He let his mind wander to Buffy, remembering all they once had, and all they lost in between.

He loved her, always would, but was that enough to face the burden of life?

Was she enough?

'_Yes_' his mind answered.

As a vampire…maybe, as a man…yes.

As a man he could be what she deserved, he could give her what she wanted from him.

Was he a man?

Was whatever Hexlar did to him permanent?

Or would it wear off, would he be forced into a half-existence being a vampire cursed with a soul?

Would he have to give up Buffy again to protect her and the world from his demon?

Could he take that chance?

Could he not?

...

Buffy sat beside his bed, the same position she sat in for the past two weeks.

Watching over him, talking to him, begging him to live.

Time was running out, his time was running out.

All too soon the doctor walked in, "Ms. Summers? I'm afraid it's time."

She shook her head, "No, no you can't. It's not fair, it's murder!" she yelled.

He shook his head, "It's mercy." He countered, "Mr. O'Conner can't stay on life support forever, he was given two weeks to recover from his coma and as of right now, there is little to no brain activity. If he chooses to live, we'll do everything in our power to aid him, if not…" he let the sentence die, like Angel would if they turned off his respirator.

"Please, not yet. He'll recover, I know he will. He just needs more time!" Buffy begged.

The doctor shook his head, a sympathetic frown on his lips. He felt this kind of grief from his patents family everyday. He learned long ago, you can't save everyone, people must choose for themselves if they want to live.

Mr. Angel O'Connor didn't seem to want to live; his status had progressively deteriorated over the last two weeks.

Dr. Marko believed this was the most merciful path, also the limit on what the insurance would cover.

That was a sad fact, what insurance would pay for typically determined the quality and length of care... but he was just a doctor, he healed when he could, the rest was out of his hands.

Dr. Marko took the young woman's hand in his, "I'll give you five minutes. Say what you need to, make your peace." With that said he exited the room.

...

Buffy was left alone with Angel again, this time she knew it would be her last chance. She sat on his bed and leaned in close, preying to any god or deity he could hear her.

"Please Angel; you have to wake up now. Please, I'll beg if you want me to, just say it. Squeeze my hand, open your eyes, do something, _anything_ to show you can hear me. There going to kill you! I know you don't want to die, you can't. Show them you won't quit, strong is fighting, fight this, fight for me."

Tears streamed down her face, "I don't want to lose you again, you can't disappear for years then show up out of nowhere just to die, that's not how this works. That can't be how this ends, you're alive, you need to stay that way. Please Angel, I…I love you. I don't care if you're human or vampire, I love you. I never stopped. I didn't even realize how much I missed you until you came back into my life. I didn't realize how lonely I was until you were there with me, just sitting beside me, you make me feel whole. Please, please, don't leave me. I don't care if you still love me or not, I want you in my life, any way I can have you, that's all I've ever wanted."

Angel remained motionless, save for the forced breaths of the respirator.

The doctor re-entered the room and Buffy braced for her worst nightmare.

Without any preamble, he switched off the machine.

After a moment the heart monitor began to waver, the oxygen sensor beeping in alarm.

Angel's lips tinted blue, but he didn't breathe.

Buffy couldn't watch, she couldn't just stand there and watch the love of her life die.

Without looking back she fled the room.

At the end of the hall she paused, a few seconds later she heard a heart monitor flat-line.

She turned and fled the hospital, her heart shattered.

...

TBC


	4. Searching

Dr. Marko watched as the pulses of the monitor weakened, he shut off the sound, not needing to hear it when it flat lined.

Except it didn't.

Against all odds, Angel took a breath.

It was weak and strangled, but it was what he needed to see.

Angel was fighting for life, and as a doctor he was obligated to help.

He quickly attached the breathing tube to a oxygen bag, squeezing air into his lungs to help ease his breathing.

After a few minutes of help, he placed an oxygen mask over his patient's nose and mouth to help supplement his lungs with oxygen and encouraged Angel to breathe on his own.

The broken ribs were far from fully healed, but his ribcage was mended enough to withstand the rhythmic pattern of in and out without help.

...

Slowly Angel regained consciousness.

Voices drifted over him, passing between one another, he felt hands over his body, sometimes it was pleasant, other times painful.

He heard his name being called, after a few attempts he managed to open his eyes.

They shut again almost immediately, bright light shinning into them causing a searing pain to flash upon his retinas.

"Sorry about that, light is gone now, promise." A man's voice assured him, an Italian accent thick on his tongue.

Trustingly he opened them again, abet slower.

A light skinned mid-forties man leaned into his line of sight, a touch of grey near him temples offset thick brown hair and stern grey eyes.

Angel didn't know this man, and was very uncomfortable with him leaning in so close.

As a reflex he put his hand up to push the man back a little, but un-bothered, the man took his hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Can you feel this?" he asked Angel.

The former vampire thought it was a rather stupid question but nodded yes.

"Can you make a fist for me?" the man asked.

'_No problem'_ the Irishman thought in pain and annoyance, _'I was thinking of punching you anyways if you don't get out of my face_.'

Angel did as he was told and was asked another question he thought was dumb.

"Can you tell me your name?"

Angel blinked a few times, wondering who this idiot was.

"Angel." He replied with a weak and croaky voice that surprised even him.

The man nodded and smiled, still holding Angel's hand he pumped it a few time and said, "How nice to finally meet you Angel, I'm Dr. Marko, I've been your caregiver for the last two weeks.

'_Two weeks?_' That caught Angel's attention.

Dr. Marko noticed the confusion run across his patient's face and briefly explained what he knew of Angel's injuries and the circumstances that caused them.

"You were brought in two weeks ago via ambulance; the police report stated you were attacked by a mugger in your friend's apartment complex. During the fight you sustained multiple rib fractures, a near-fatal puncture wound to the chest, minor abdominal bleeding, a lacerated right hand, broken nose and a decent concussion. You have been in a coma since your arrival, but now that you are awake, your recovery chances are much improved."

Angel took that in, not really sure if that was what his jumbled mind recalled what happened or not.

"You should rest now, Mr. O'Connor. Your body has had quiet a shock today. Tomorrow we can speak further."

Angel didn't want to wait, he wanted answers now, "Wait." He called, his throat sore from the breathing tube they had recently removed.

The doctor held up his hand, "Rest now, your questions will be answered tomorrow." He insisted before he retreated.

Angel was suddenly left alone in the small white walled room.

A thousand questions floated in his mind. The most important was about Buffy.

Had he actually gone to see her? Was that the friend Dr. Marko referred to? Is she alright? Was that bounty hunter still staking him? His mind raced a mile a minute, for him, there would be no rest tonight.

A short time later a few orderlies entered his room and he was told he was being transferred onto another floor.

He didn't have much say in the matter, in fact he didn't have any say.

Despite the move, he still felt trapped, the new room had the same bland white walls and the same overly strong smell of disinfectant.

It was a long time before he slept.

...

Buffy lay on her bed crying.

Most of the mess in her apartment had been cleaned up thanks to Dawn and a few of her college friends over a week ago.

None of them knew about Angel.

She hadn't spoken to her friends lately; they all had important jobs and responsibilities helping find and train new slayers after Sunnydale fell.

They still talked when they got time, but time was hard to come by nowadays.

Buffy felt like her chest was going to cave in, like some giant monster was standing on it and jumping around, using her as a trampoline.

'_He's gone. He's dead. Angel_.'

Buffy had thought him dead before, but she had only gone though the motions then, this time, it was real.

She had seen with her own eyes, she couldn't stay to watch it actually happen, but it was still real.

As she cried, she thought of him.

His cold but gentle touch, how it sent a fire through her veins despite his chill.

His warm chocolate eyes, how when he looked at her she felt herself melt in those dark orbs.

His smile, as rare as a four leaf clover but worth more than a pot of gold.

'_I'll never see it again.'_

_...  
_

Dr. Marko stopped by the nurses station, "Mr. Harvey, I would like you to ring Ms. Summers, tell her Mr. O'Connor has awakened."_  
_

Gwen looked up, "Yes Doctor Marko, I'll call her right away."

...

Buffy was sitting on her couch, feeling miserable when her phone rang.

Not really thinking about it she reflexively picked it up, "Hello?" she asked, voice empty.

"Ms. Summers?" A pleasant woman's voice asked.

"Yeah." She replied, in to mood for dancing around.

"My name is Gwen, I'm calling from the hospital, about Mr. O'Connor." The woman explained.

"I know, I'll be by tomorrow." She said and hung up.

'_What will I do with Angel's body?'_ she asked herself, knowing that was what the woman must have been calling about. _'Do I have him buried? Or cremated? Do I have the right? Is there someone else?_' she wondered, not knowing what kind of service would be appropriate for a nearly 400 year old ex-vampire.

She thought suddenly, '_What if he doesn't stay dead? What if whatever happened to him, to make him mortal, reverses and be turns back into a vampire…what if he comes back soulless?' _

Thinking the idea horrible, but possible, she arose from her bed, wiped the tears from her eyes, and put her Slayer face back on.

She didn't have time for a breakdown, if Angel was undead again, she needed to know.

And if he was a threat…he needed to be stopped.

She tucked a stake into her hidden pocket and headed out the door.

'_Guess I'll be by today instead.' _

_...  
_

It wasn't hard sneaking into the morgue, she did it often enough during regular scheduled patrols.

Newly sired vamps tended to end up in morgues, just a fact of life…or death rather.

She looked around, checking files and pulling open the freezer drawers.

She was about to give up when one of the drawers opened to reveal a security guard, fully clothed and recently eaten.

'_Oh god, he's evil._'

Buffy's heart clenched, knowing Angelus had killed the guard and vanished into the sewers before she arrived.

Leaving the hospital she dialed Willow's cell, needing to alert the witch that Angel needed immediate re-ensoulment.

The phone went to voicemail, "Hey, you've reached Willow, well you haven't actually since your hearing this recording. Leave me a message and I'll call you back as soon as possible. K, bye."

Buffy hurriedly left a message then pressed end.

A second later she was calling Giles.

She got nothing.

"Damn it! Where is everyone!" She grumbled and dialed Xander.

On the third ring a recently awoken Xander answered the phone, "Do you have any idea what time it is right now?"

"Xander! Where are Willow and Giles, I have an emergency here!" She urged into the phone.

"Buffy? What? What kind of emergency?" He asked shaking off sleep, concerned his friend was in immediate danger.

"The I-need-a-witch-right-now kind." She rushed.

"Shit Buff, Will's not here…literally. Like another dimension, unreachable." He said apologetically.

"For how long?" Buffy exclaimed, not believing how horrible things were spiraling so rapidly downhill.

"At least a month, maybe more." He told her.

Buffy stopped listening after that.

'_A month? More? Angelus can't be allowed to wander free that long…I can't let him go.'_

"Buffy!" Xander yelled into the phone.

"Yeah, I understand. I'll call you back." She said emptily, then hung up.

_'I have to kill him._' She thought miserably, '_There's no other way…I can't risk capturing him, if he gets away…if he kills me…I can't let him kill anymore innocents._'

Defeated, she walked towards home.

There was nothing she could do until sunset. She couldn't track him in the sewers, and she needed time…time to prepare her mind for doing what she couldn't do all those years ago in Sunnydale.

Sending your lover to Hell and watching them turn to dust were nothing alike.

_'I have to kill him_' she repeated, then her mind went blank.

…

Angel stared impatiently at the clock, a clock that he was convince was broken because there was no possible way time was moving that slowly.

'God I hate hospitals." He thought miserably as he waited for Buffy to arrive.

Earlier, Dr. Marko had alerted him that Buffy had been called to inform her of his improved condition...but that had been hours ago.

_'Does she not want to see me? Did something happen to her?'_

He sighed again, and resumed his angry glare towards the clock, only a few more hours of visiting time remained_  
_

...

The sun was just about set and Buffy was heading out the door when the phone rang, grateful for any distraction from her grim task she answered it.

"Hello?"

"Buffy?" Willows voice asked, "Xander said there was an emergency, am I too late?"

"Will! Thank god!" She cried relieved beyond measure, "Listen, ASAP I need you to re-ensoul Angel."

"Angel's soulless!" The witch gasped, remembering full well what Angelus could be like, "Oh Buffy are you ok? Did he hurt you?" The redhead asking in concern for Buffy.

"No, I'm fine. Please Willow, I need you to do this…like now."

"Already gathering the materials." The witch said as she tore threw her apartment and grabbed what she needed.

"So" Willow asked as she mixed the required herbs in a bowl, "Umm…how exactly did Angel loose his soul?" she asked, since for the past two years they all thought he was dead.

"I didn't sleep with him if that's what you're asking." Buffy deadpanned.

After a second Buffy gave Willow the express cliff notes of the past 2 weeks.

"Oh Buffy, that's…I can't even express words that represent how horrible that is." Willow sympathized.

"Yeah, but if you ensoul him…" Buffy trailed, wondering how Angel would react once his soul was restored. '_He'll either want to be with me…or run'_

"Ok, I'm ready. Going to put you on hold while I cast it." Willow said right before putting down the phone._  
_

Buffy stood in her kitchen, pacing a hole in the floor as she impatiently awaited to hear Angel was 'cured'.

Right when she thought she'd explode from the pressure, Willow voice returned.

"Buffy?" She asked, sounding tired.

"Did you do it? Is it finished? Is he ok now?" Buffy asked hopeful.

"Ahh...not sure how to tell you this..." The witch started.

"Tell me what? Will!"

"It didn't work." The redhead moaned.

Buffy was shocked into silent a moment, "Wh-what do you mean it didn't work? You've done this before! Did you forget something? Maybe you said a few words wrong?"

"Buffy, I tried three times, I checked everything...I started the spell correctly...but Angel's soul...it's not in the ether...I'm so sorry. There's nothing I can do if I can't call his soul into the orb."

"Yeah, well thanks for trying Will." Buffy said right before she hung up.

_'His soul must have moved on'_ Buffy thought with a heavy heart, '_He must be a peace now...or._..'

She shut down her thoughts before the idea of hell could surface, she couldn't bear the thought of him suffering for all eternity.

Before her resolve faded, she headed out the door.

If Angel's soul was lost to her, then his body was nothing but a vessel for a demon.

It was not only her duty to slay it, but to put his form to rest for Angel's sake.

She couldn't let his memory be corrupted by his demon's actions.

...

Angel looked at the bleary white walls again...the same walls he'd been staring at for the last four days now.

He'd asked about Buffy a few times, the nurse assured him she had been called, that she'd said she would come...but she didn't.

'_Maybe I was hallucinating when I heard her calling to me? Maybe she was telling me to die? To leave her alone and give her peace? If she wanted to be with me, wouldn't she have come to see me? Maybe something really did happen to her?'_

The last thought got him worried. '_Hexlar...did he...god I wish I could remember what happened to him. Did he get away? Did Buffy kill him? Did he hurt Buffy? Is that why she isn't here.'_

Worried all to hell and so completely sick of this damn hospital, he pressed his call button repeatedlyuntil a nurse came in.

"Is there a problem Mr. O'Connor?" She asked, gently prying the button from his hand.

"I'm checking out." He told her seriously.

"Oh, umm.." she pulled his file out and looked it over, "Well I see here you're scheduled for another week, then rehab starts..."

He cut her off, "I'm checking out tonight. I don't care who needs to be alerted, what has to be signed, I'm leaving. Make it happen."

She nodded, immediately reporting to her superior.

After a few people tried and failed to make him see reason, the papers were drawn up and he was being prepared to sign out at dusk.

...

Buffy patrolled.

Every night for almost a week, she'd searched for Angelus.

Every night she killed at least five vampires.

None had been Angelus.

_'Maybe he left town? No, he couldn't have, it's not his style. He should be here, taunting me with his face, knowing what his eyes do to me.'_

She tightened her hand on her stake, "I know you're here...I'm going to find you...and when I do..." She said to the empty night, "There will be no mercy."

...

Angel tightened the belt on his wool coat a little tighter.

Thankfully they had a supply of donated clothes for him to pick though at the hospital, since the clothes he arrived at the hospital wearing were in ribbons from a mix of Hexlar and the doctors cutting them away to reach him injuries.

_'Wasn't about to stroll down the street in a hospital johnny.'_

His wounds had healed a great deal over the two weeks he'd been in a coma, plus the week he'd spent worried out of his mind after awaking.

The flesh was healed...the bones...still a work in progress.

His ribs hurt...a lot.

They did convince him to keep the cast on his hand, a torn tendon would take months to heal...and if he didn't follow some guidelines for it, he would more than likely lose a significant range of motion in the appendage.

Despite the pain in his chest or the dangers of wandering the not-as-empty-as-they-look streets at night, he was determined to find Buffy.

_'She has to be ok, she has to be.'_

After a few minutes of aimless wandering, he got his bearings and headed towards where she lived.

...

'_Another wasted night.'_ Buffy thought as she gave up her search for the night and turned towards home.

...

"Do you know when she usually gets back?" Angel asked Dawn as they waited together outside Buffy's apartment building.

He'd run into her ten minutes ago as he walked passed the bus station, she had been shocked and surprised to see him.

She had been more shocked when she hugged him, and he was warm.

"Should be any minute now...would you rather wait upstairs? More comfy and not as cold." She offered.

He thought a moment then nodded, "Yeah, I think I need to sit for awhile." He announced, rubbing his sore ribs.

They turned and headed for the door.

...

_'Where the hell is the bastard?'_ Buffy wondered in near maddening frustration as she entered her neighborhood.

And as if fate suddenly granted her a wish, she spotted him.

He was lurking outside her apartment, not 100 feet away from her.

And he had her sister.

A second later, they vanished into the building.

'_Dawn!_' Her mind screamed, knowing Angelus was baiting her, waiting until she came home, just so he could kill her only family right in front of her eyes.

_'He won't kill her...not until he knows I'm here. As long as I can get to him first, she'll be safe.'_

With a speed and stealth even she had thought impossible for her to achieve, she shot over the distance, rushing up the back stairs.

Her stake ready to finish this.

...

TBC


	5. Seperate - Ending Version 1

...

The elevator dinged the penthouse; the doors opened and as Angel walked off the cart, he was body slammed against the wall.

His ribs protested in utter agony, eyes barely focusing as he fought to stay upright.

"Buffy! Stop! What the hell are you doing! He's hurt!" Dawn yelled quickly, seeing her sister about to stake Angel.

"Angel's dead! He's soulless, he needs to die." Buffy yelled back to her sister, desperate for her to understand.

_'Huh? She thinks I'm dead?'_

Angel pulled consciousness back enough to focus on Buffy.

"Ahh Buffy, is there a particular reason you have a stake pointed at me? I mean 250 years as a vampire gave me _enough_ anxiety about wood being aimed at my heart, and having a chunk of your bedroom wall impaling me _really_ didn't help alleviate it either."

Buffy stood stone still, almost afraid to move, if she did, it might be an autopilot staking.

"Angel?" she questioned, still unsure if this was some trick Angelus was playing.

His eyes stayed glued to the shaft of wood in her hand a moment, then slowly moved to look into her eyes.

"I'm right here Buffy. I'm alive. Feel." He finished by offering her his wrist, "It's not a trick, feel my pulse, feel my warmth. I'm not dead."

She wanted to, she really wanted to. But what if it was a trick, what if as soon as she took the pressure off, he attacked her.

His open palm was so inviting, she reached out before she make the decision to do it.

Taking a huge risk, he grasped her hand when it moved forward, knowing full well if he made the wrong move, he'd be really, really dead.

She jumped back as she felt his hand close over hers, the stake tightened in her grip, and then it loosened as she felt the warmth in his fingers.

She moved her digits until they settled over his wrist, she felt the worry induced quick thump, thump, thump just under the skin.

As she pulled back, releasing him from against the wall, a tear slipped down her cheek. "Angel?" she asked, for the first time really seeing him.

He looked down into her eyes as she ran her fingers over his cheek.

Instead of answering, he pulled her against him, her face pressed against his chest as her arms encircled his waist. The heat from his body surrounded her, his heartbeat thumped against her cheek. She squeezed herself against him, never wanting to let him go, afraid if she did he would disappear.

When Buffy's grip tightened, Angel felt his ribs grind in agonizing detail. He gasped and couldn't stop the moan that escaped his lips.

Buffy jumped back, "Angel? What...oh your ribs!" She exclaimed, just now remembering his wounds. "I'm sorry, here." She grabbed his left arm and place his hand on her shoulder, then wrapped am arm around his lower back, leading him towards her apartment.

"I'm so sorry." She winced, seeing his suddenly pale face.

"It's alright." he forced out, fighting to remain conscious after such a taxing day for someone who should still be in the hospital.

...

Dawn sighed in relief when her sister snapped back to her senses before a disaster happened in the hallway. She quickly ran ahead to open the door and get the medical supplies out.

...

Once inside, Angel collapsed down on Buffy's bed as her and Dawn stripped off his jacket and shirt and worked to check his injuries.

The couch had suffered fatal blows due to Hexlar smashing it while trying to crush Angel and the love seat was too small for the tall man to lay on comfortably, so the bed was the only other logical choice to put him.

Buffy was thankful she had yet to order the new couch...it meant having Angel in her bed.

His ribs were sore and bruised, but thankfully neither could find any new breaks or cracks, just the older half-healed ones.

Buffy quickly re-bound his ribs while Dawn talked Angel into swallowing a few pills she found in the prescription bottle in his coat.

After a few minutes, Angel began nodding off, stress and fatigue catching up.

"Lay down." Buffy urged when she finished binding his chest, seeing him fighting to stay awake.

He started to argue, but Buffy shut him up by pressing her lips to his.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulder, leaned forward and pushed him down, forcing him to lie back as she lowed him.

In response, he pulled her off balance, bringing her down with him. Luckily she was able to navigate away from his bruised ribs and land beside him.

Dawn quickly slipped out of the room before she saw any more of them than she ever wanted or needed to.

When the kiss ended and they were left panting for breath, he spoke, "Getting my heart racing really isn't the best 'go to sleep' method."

She smiled beside him, already seeing his body react to being horizontal...and not in a sexual way. "Like you wouldn't pass out before things got really interesting..." She countered, knowing in his current state of pain and exhaustion, he wasn't about to get far beyond first or second base.

"Interesting how?" He asked with a smirk, wondering if that kiss meant what he hoped it did.

"I dunno, something like this maybe?" She told him before her lips fell over his again.

His free hand came up, caressing the back of her neck and drawing her closer while the cast hand ran along her side.

Her hands tangled in his hair and slid across his defined cheeks, her lips hungrily devouring his.

For two weeks she had thought of nothing but this, his hot mortal body under her as they finally got to be together consequence free. The week of thinking him dead made her desire flair even more. He was here, with her, alive and well...mostly well.

She pulled back a little, suddenly feeling guilty over provoking him towards something he couldn't do, at least not without massive amounts of pain and possible re-injury.

"I love you." he whispered into her ear as he kissed along her face.

A tear slipped down her cheek, those words entering her very soul.

She cupped his cheek in her hand, caressing the day old stubble, "I love you." She repeated back, having wanted to say those words for weeks now.

Their lips met again, passion filling them.

...

Buffy awoke feeling warm and safe and loved.

Angel was sound asleep, while she was cuddled against him on his right, his left being the worst damaged of the two sides. She was using his right shoulder as a pillow, her weight beside him instead of resting on his chest. His right arm was wrapped around her, holding her close even in sleep.

As she knew he would, he succumbed to exhausting before they had been able to actually make love, but being in his arms, arm rather, was all the love she needed right now.

She fell back to sleep, content.

...

Angel felt something funny, a warm and ticklish sensation on his neck. Slowly he opened his eyes, to see what was causing the feeling.

"So you are alive" Buffy commented with a gleam of mischief.

"Huh" He breathed out, still groggy.

"You've been asleep for almost the entire day." She clarified, "Was beginning to wonder if you slipped back to Coma-ville."

"No, no coma..." After a second, "All day? Really?" He asked, attempting to sit up, and failing miserably when pain shot threw his torso.

He hissed and remained horizontal.

"Here." Buffy held a little handful of pills and a glass of water, "You already missed two doses."

He swallowed them and took a few sips of the water she held.

He grimaced at the horrible aftertaste. "Ugh, why can't they add some flavor to those?" He mumbled.

"Then people would eat them like candy?" She shrugged and slipped into the bed beside him, resuming her position for earlier, her head on his right shoulder.

"Or not die from the aftertaste alone..." He grumbled.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, concerned about him being out of the hospital only 3 weeks after getting impaled and barely surviving major surgery.

"I was once told, if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything." He replied.

"That's not encouraging..." She frowned, then sat up and looked him over.

He was pale, but it was hard to tell if from pain, or healing or having to dodge from the sun for 250 years.

She rested her hand on his brow and was relieved to find no trace of fever.

She moved her hands to his bandaged chest, caressing down the hidden scar he would always carry from Hexlar's attack.

Her fingers traveled down to the cast on his right arm, the little splits on his fingers to keep the tendons stretched. He moved his fingers when hers slid over them, the action was painful and stiff, but they did respond to his commands.

As her hand moved along his healed and currently healing wounds, his eyes never left it. He watched in mild amusement her fascination with his injuries.

She turned and looked down into his eyes, "How?" She asked.

"How what?" He questioned.

"How are you alive?" She clarified, having wondered since she first felt his heart beating in the hallway.

"You called an ambulance, doctors put most of the pieces back..."

"Not that part." She said rolling her eyes, then her mood sobered, "You were dying Angel. They took you off life support, you...you died."

"I didn't." he told her, slipping her hand into his left.

"But...I heard the machine, you flat-lined." She countered, remembering hearing it.

"The guy in the room next door died, I saw them cleaning out the room when they moved me upstairs. Dr. Marko, he told me I shouldn't have lived...he expected me to die...but I took a breath instead." He took a deep breath, or as deep as his hurt ribs allowed, "I heard you Buffy, it took me awhile, but I fought."

She shook her head, "I should have stayed..." she whispered remorsefully, realizing she had run at the worst possible moment.

"Doesn't matter." He told her, squeezing her hand, "You're here, I'm here...now we just have to figure out what that means."

"What do you want it to mean?" She asked, hoping he wanted to stay with her.

Before he could answer, his stomach growled.

"I really wish that would stop doing that." He grumbled, his cheek tinting red.

She giggled and kissed his cheek, "Someone missed breakfast, and lunch...and dinner." She realized. "Stay here, I'll grab you something." She said and quickly went to find him some suitable dinner.

"Not going anywhere." He whispered, both for his inability to get out of bed at the moment and his unwillingness to ever leave her again.

...

After she fed him three bowls of soup, he began nodding off again. His completely mortal body needing the rest.

Not long after he dozed off, she slipped into bed beside him.

...

Buffy awoke to the feeling of being watched.

Slowly she opened her eyes and spotted Angel staring at her.

"What?" She asked sleepily, "I must look like a wreck." She panicked when seeing his slight smirk, while trying to comb her hair with her fingers.

"You look beautiful...you always look beautiful." He declared.

She stopped trying to kill the cat on her head and just looked into his eyes, those I-want-to-drown-in-them-forever eyes.

"Not always..." She blurted, embarrassed.

"No, not always..." He started.

She deflated a little.

"...sometimes you're gorgeous." He finished.

She perked right back up. "Someone's feeling better." She spoke with a grin.

He chuckled, then winced from the pain it caused.

"Or not." She frowned. "Are you ok?"

"Better than yesterday, not as good as tomorrow."

She kissed his temple and stretched out beside him.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, she asked, "Are we together?"

He glanced at her. "Do you want to be?"

"Doesn't sound like you do..." She pouted, in an angry sort of way.

He reached out and grasped her arm, "I do _want_ to be...I'm just not sure I _can_ be."

"What's the problem this time?" She demanded, knowing his reasons for leaving before (Can't give children, go in sunlight, move love to) were all obsolete in his current alive and human state.

He sighed, "Buffy, I have no idea how Hexlar made me human...I don't even know how long it will last." He paused then continued, "If we were to restart something...and it had to end...I'm not sure I could handle that." He admitted. She might not remember the day that never was, but it tore his beating heart to shreds to think it could happen again, he could have her, then lose her.

"I understand that feeling." She mumbled as she slid back down.

After a moment, "Well I guess we need to figure out what happened." She told him as she sat up. "I'll call Giles, get the gang working on this."

He made to say something but her fingers clamped his mouth shut, "All you're going to worry about is getting better, heal...ok?" She stated.

He nodded and she took her hand away from his mouth. "Good, I'm going to make that call and when I come back, I'll have some breakfast with me."

He grinned, "Breakfast in bed, I could get used to that."

_'Me too._' she thought as she exited the bedroom.

...

Two days later, Giles flew in from England.

She greeter her watcher and help him cart in a heavy suitcase of books.

"Gees Giles, what did you pay for baggage fees on this?" She joked.

"Nothing I'm willing to discuss with you..." he winced remembering the number.

...

Giles took Dawn's room, the young woman at school for the days but eager to come help after classes.

While he was unpacking and getting situated Buffy went to get Angel.

...

The newly mortal man had spent nearly all of his time at Buffy's house sleeping, but she didn't really blame him, it was one of his few escapes from the pain and honestly, he needed the rest to heal.

"Angel?" She called, gently rousing him.

"Hmm?" He exhaled, slowly opening his eyes.

"Hey, time to stop being Rip Van Winkle, Giles is here and he'll need you to explain all the details so he can research. Can't spend today laying about like a dead fish." She finished, realizing he'd layed in that bed for nearly four solid days.

"Thanks" he mumbled, as she helped him sit up. "Hey, I get up." He countered after a second.

"Oh yeah, bathroom breaks and shaving...so much exercise there..." she joked sarcastically.

"You try moving with broken ribs..." He grumbled. "Ugh, I need a shower something fierce." He said once getting a whiff of himself.

"Noticed" Buffy said under her breath.

She helped him walk stiffly into the bathroom and showed him how to operate her shower. She quickly removed the bandage around his ribs and help him undress.

"If you need help...call me...I swear, if you fall and hurt yourself more..." She threatened.

"I'll call, promise." He cut her off, not needing to hear what she'll do to him.

"I'll be in when you're done with some clothes."

"Why don't you just leave them here?" he asked.

"Because you'll try to put them on and hurt yourself." She told him as she stepped out of the room.

"Not a cripple." He grumbled, and turned on the water.

...

The heat from the shower helped ease the strained muscles and relaxed the pain in his chest.

"You didn't drown in there did you?" he heard Buffy call through the door.

"No, the hot water's really helping."

"Well you've been in there for twenty minutes...you could leave me _some_ hot water..."

"Oh, sorry" he called out, quickly rinsing the turning off the water.

...

Once he was dry and shaved, Buffy came in with some clothes and to re-bandage his ribs.

He never realized how important his ribs were until he broke them...and found moving in any direction was painfully impossible.

...

Twenty minutes later, he walked into the kitchen with Buffy.

"Giles" he greeted the watcher sitting at the table with a cup of tea.

"Angel." Giles replied, still uneasy about the former vampire.

Buffy could physically see the tension between the two. '_Oh boy, this will be fun.._.' she thought to herself.

Angel moved to the counter and stood against it. Buffy imagined if it wouldn't have hurt, his arms would have been folding across his chest.

"Ok, well let's cut to the chase." Buffy began, being direct, "Angel, when exactly did the human thing happen?"

He shifted then slowly answered, "I was fighting with Hexlar, at some point...he stuck me with something. Never saw what it was...left a pinprick in my arm. Shortly after, he fled."

"That's it?" Buffy questioned?

He exhaled, "Buffy, we've fought for almost two years...neither of us ever managed to strike a deathblow. The fact he ran was nothing new...I guess he was just waiting for whatever he did to take effect. He didn't count on me going to the butchers and collapsing near a group of people..."

She gave him a look that said, keep going.

"I don't remember a lot...we were in Greece...they took me to a hospital...I woke, freaked and ran. When I realized I was human...I knew it was over...I gave up." He finished quietly.

"How did you end up meeting Buffy?" Giles asked.

"He came here to say goodbye." Buffy lashed.

Angel looked uncomfortable.

"Oh." Giles nodded, understanding why Buffy would be furious about that. "So, he injected you with something..." Giles continued, leaving the Buffy/Angel mess between the two others in the room and focusing on the research. "Can you tell me of any feelings you had? Sensations? Smells? tastes? Anything at all so I can narrow it down."

"How many cures to vamperism do you have to narrow between?" Angel asked sarcastically, knowing there were none.

After a moment Angel remembered something, "Giles...look up Mohra demons."

With something to go on, Giles divulged into his books.

"Mohra...isn't that the mutant ninja demon thing you killed in your office?" Buffy asked, remembering the jewel on it's forehead shattering.

"Uhh...yeah." he replied quickly." He hadn't expected her to remember the name of the creature.

"What? I'm a slayer..I see a new demon, I learn what it is and how to kill it." She told him, seeing the shock on his face.

"Ahh, yes, the book of Kelsor. Mohra demons...here it is...They are powerful assassins, brutal and deadly soldiers of darkness. They are designed to eliminate warriors of the light. Mohra's needs vast amounts of salt to live. Their veins run with the blood of eternity. In order to kill the beast one must bring darkness to 1000 eyes, in not killed properly they regenerate coming back bigger and stronger until the dark future their master envisions is upon us." Giles finished reading and showed Angel and Buffy the sketch in the book.

"That's it." Buffy nodded. After a moment, "So that blood of eternity thing..."

"Well as is written, they seem to be able to regenerate themselves, so in theory they should be able to also regenerate another dead being...such as a vampire." Giles concluded.

Angel just nodded slowly, knowing that is exactly what it can do but not wanting to say anything.

Buffy noticed.

"Angel? What do you know?" She demanded.

He looked up, startled. "What? Nothing!"

"You're a terrible lair...you know something...I can see it all over your face." She cornered him.

"I only know what I've read..." He tried.

"Angel!" She demanded again.

He looked away, determined not to tell her everything, but knowing he had to tell her some of it.

"I encountered one...a long time ago. We fought...I won...but during the fight, it's blood mixed with mine. It made me mortal." He admitted.

"Extraordinary" Giles exclaimed, excited about the concept.

"It wasn't permanent?" Buffy asked, knowing he was a vampire again when they met up years ago.

"I would have been..." He trailed.

"What happened?" She asked.

"I went to see the oracles."

"The oracles!" Giles gaped, "The immortal beings that act as interpreters to the powers?"

"Not that as immortal as you'd think..." He tried to change the subject.

"What did the oracles do?" She asked, keeping them on track.

He took a deep pained breath and continued, "They said I had been a warrior of their cause, as a man...I wasn't. In order to keep my mission, to save lives...they took back the day...it never happened."

"But you remember it." Buffy countered.

"Only so I could kill the Mohra before it could make me mortal." He defended.

"When?" She asked, "When exactly did this happen?"

"It was a long time ago..." Angel said shaking his head.

"You remember things that happened in 17something. If it happened after I came to see you in L.A after thanksgiving in 2000, you would have known how to kill the demon already...not read it in a book..." She realized.

He looked down, and she had her answer.

"It happened that day...didn't it?" She asked, not really a question.

It was hard to tell, but he nodded.

They were all silent a moment, then Buffy turned to her watcher..."Giles, can we a have a minute." She asked.

Giles understood it wasn't a question and he nodded. "I'll just run to the store, get us some lunch then." He left quickly.

Once alone Buffy looked at Angel, his gaze wouldn't meet hers.

"I knew didn't I? I knew you were human..." She asked, wishing she could remember...but for her...it never happened.

"Yeah." He whispered.

"If you were human...there would have been no curse..." She offered.

"No curse." he repeated.

"Tell me everything." She said calmly to him, "I want to know everything that happened that day...everything."

He was silent a moment, but slowly he did tell her every, agonizing detail.

...

They sat at the table in silence.

Angel kept his gaze in submission on the floor, not wanting to even see the pain he knew he just caused her.

"Well..." She began, "Nice to know." She stood and paced for a moment, "And here I thought you up and left me just the once...silly me."

"Buffy." He tried to say no.

"Shut up!" She snapped.

He went back to being submissive.

"I can't remember any of it...but I know I'd be furious. You altered reality! You were human! We could have been happy."

"At the cost of your life!" He Shouted.

"So you save me at the cost of yours!" She yelled back.

"It wasn't about us Buffy, I had a mission..." He tried.

"Oh a mission, visions from the powers, yeah great. Whoop Dee Do!"

"Then tell me this Buffy...if the situation had been reversed...would you have given up being the Slayer?" He countered.

She began to shout back, yes...then stopped.

"You would have been able to throw out your calling, leave the world without a Slayer? Leave the world at risk to the vampires and demons..."

"Another would have been called." she said slowly without confidence.

"And you think she would have been better than you? Would you be able to do that to someone, just hand them your responsibility?"

She got angry. "Don't make this about me! What really pisses me off is you made the choice without me! I should have gone with you...to see the oracles."

"It was easier if you didn't know."

"Well I know now."

"And what good is it? All knowing does is hurt you."

"You knew...you dealt with it...so will I."

...

Giles knocked on the door, "Umm...Hello? Anyone want sandwiches...or did I forget something and need to go back for it right now?"

Angel opened the door. "Not hungry Giles, but feel free to eat." He said as he walked pasted the watcher.

"Where are you going?" Buffy demanded, seeing Angel grabbing his coat off the rack.

"Anywhere but here." He said as he vanished around the corner.

She followed in a flash.

...

Giles blinked, "Fire and water those two are." He put the other two sandwiches in a refridgerator, nowing they wouldn't be eating anytime soon and sat the the table with his.

...

Buffy easily caught up to him and grabbed Angel coat, slamming in again the wall. "So that's it then! You just take off again when things get hard!"

He shrugged her hand off and faced her, "What do you want from me Buffy!" He shouted. "I had a choice, I chose to save you."

"Without my consent." She shot.

"With or without it doesn't matter! I did what I had to do, it's over."

"Over." she repeated, wondering exactly how far that extended.

"I'm no different from then Buffy, I would make the same choice if given the option. It you can't handle that...then I'm just going to go, no need making this any worse than it already is." He turned to walk away.

"If you walk away from me again...I swear Angel...You better never come back."

He stiffened a moment, then kept walking.

She felt wetness in her eyes as he entered the elevator.

Then it was just her and her tears.

...

The End.

...

Stay tuned for an Alternative ending!


	6. Sorrow - Ending Version 2

Starts at the end of Putting the Pieces Back Together, Part 4.

...

_'Where the hell is the bastard?'_ Buffy wondered in near maddening frustration as she entered her neighborhood.

And as if fate suddenly granted her a wish, she spotted him.

He was lurking outside her apartment, not 100 feet away from her.

And he had her sister.

'_Dawn_!' Her mind screamed, knowing Angelus was baiting her, waiting until she came home, just so he could kill her only family right in front of her eyes.

With a speed and stealth even she had thought impossible for her to achieve, she shot over the distance, stake aimed for his dead heart.

...

"Angel? I thought...we all thought you were dead." Dawn gasped in surprise when she saw the MIA vampire materialize out of the darkness.

"Been hearing that a lot Dawn." He said, forcing a smile to his lips.

"Does...does Buffy know you're alive?" She asked.

"She does, in fact, I came to find her...is she here?"

"No, she went patrolling a few hours ago...she should be back any minute now." Dawn said as they stood together outside the apartment.

"Good, I really need to talk to...her." He wetly gurgled the last word before collapsing.

"Angel!?" Dawn asked frightened when he suddenly dropped.

Buffy appeared behind where Angel had just been standing, a bloody stake in her hand.

"Dawn, get away from it." Buffy yelled as she practically dragged Dawn back.

"Buffy! What did you do!" the young woman cried out when she realized Buffy had staked him.

"He's soulless." She defended, expecting to see Angelus's body dust any second now.

Any second.

It wasn't dusting.

"What? Why?" Buffy asked, looking down at the growing blood pool at her feet.

Dawn rushed passed her, rolling Angel over onto his back.

"Angel!" she called, shaking him.

His wide-dead eyes stood staring at nothing.

Buffy looked down into those eyes.

"I...he...but...he died...he...he was evil...oh god what have I done?" she cried, dropping the bloody stake like it was poison. She lifted her hands to her face, to hide from the shame and horror, but saw a splash of his blood on her fingers.

She hadn't stake Angelus, she had murdered Angel.

"He wasn't a vampire? But…what did you do!" Dawn cried again, sobbing over Angel's body.

Suddenly Buffy's phone began to ring. In a fog, Buffy answered.

Willow's voice sounded from the speaker, "Buffy! I did a locator spell for Angel's soul! It's in Rome, right near you! And you're not going to believe this, but he's human Buffy! Angel's alive and still human! Buffy? Did you hear me? Angel's alive! Isn't that amazing!"

Buffy stood staring at Angel's corpse.

"I have to go." she muttered, the dropped the phone.

It cracked against the cold asphalt.

She turned, body numb, and disappeared into the night.

Dawn's cries fading until there was only the sounds of the night.

...

Buffy stood at the bridge she'd stood with Angel over three weeks ago.

Her thumb trailing the banister where his had rested as they spoke.

A hand that had been warm.

A hand that was now cold.

A hand that would stay cold.

There would be no reanimation into a vampire for him...not since she staked him to death not ten minutes ago.

A sharp stake to the heart and it was over...forever.

A single tear fell down her cheek.

She looked down over the edge, watched the water as Angel had three weeks ago.

Without another thought, she leaned over.

Her body felt the cold water as it consumed her.

She was disappointed the fall didn't kill her, but not to be denied in death again, she took a deep breath.

And another and another, her lungs nearly bursting with the cold water.

She didn't mind the pain, the horrible convulsions as her body called for air, the feeling of drowning.

It didn't take long, her slayer powers rendered null as her heart stopped beating.

Somewhere in the world, another slayer was called.

...

The End.

…

I bet you like my version one ending now don't you?

I'll post a 'good' ending…look out for it.


	7. Satisfied - Ending Version 3

...

The elevator dinged the penthouse. The doors opened and as Angel walked off the cart, he was body slammed against the wall.

His ribs protested in utter agony, eyes barely focusing as he fought to stay upright.

"Buffy! Stop! What the hell are you doing! He's hurt!" Dawn yelled quickly, seeing her sister about to stake Angel.

"Angel's dead! He's soulless, he needs to die." Buffy yelled back to her sister, desperate for her to understand.

_'Huh? She thinks I'm dead? Then...she thinks I'm Angelus!'_ His mind whirled._  
_

Angel pulled consciousness back enough to focus on Buffy.

"Ahh Buffy, is there a particular reason you have a stake pointed at me? I mean 250 years as a vampire gave me _enough_ anxiety about wood being aimed at my heart, and having a chunk of your bedroom wall impaling me _really_ didn't help alleviate it either." He said with him most innocent face.

Buffy stood stone still, almost afraid to move, if she did, it might be an autopilot staking.

"Angel?" she questioned, still unsure if this was some trick Angelus was playing with her head.

His eyes stayed glued to the shaft of wood in her hand a moment, then slowly moved to look into her eyes.

"I'm right here Buffy. I'm not evil. I'm alive. Feel." He finished by offering her his wrist, "It's not a trick, feel my pulse, feel my warmth. I'm not dead."

She wanted to, she really wanted to. But what if it was a trick, what if as soon as she took the pressure off, he attacked her.

His open palm was so inviting, she reached out before she make the decision to do it.

Taking a huge risk, he grasped her hand when it moved forward, knowing full well if he made the wrong move, he'd be really, really dead.

She jumped back as she felt his hand close over hers, the stake tightened in her grip, and then it loosened as she felt the warmth in his fingers.

She moved her digits until they settled over his wrist, she felt the worry induced quick thump, thump, thump just under the skin.

As she pulled back, releasing him from against the wall, a tear slipped down her cheek. "Angel?" she asked, for the first time really seeing him.

He looked down into her eyes as she ran her fingers over his cheek. "It's me."

In in instant, she pressed her face against his chest as her arms encircled his waist. The heat from his body surrounded her, his heartbeat thumped against her cheek. She squeezed herself against him, never wanting to let him go, afraid if she did he would disappear.

When Buffy's grip tightened, Angel felt his ribs grind in agonizing detail. He gasped in pain, his vision blurring. A moment later he lost his battle to keep conscious.

Buffy yelped Angel's name as his eyes rolled back and he dropped. "Dawn! Call 911!" She yelled to her sister and she tried to control Angel's fall, realizing he was still hurt and in no shape to be out of the hospital.

...

Slowly Angel regained consciousness.

His eyes opened to see the stern grey eyes of Dr. Marko looking frustrated down at him.

"Mr. O'Connor...can't say I'm happy to see you again. Thou I suppose an 'I told you so' would be childish of me. You've lucky only a few ribs shifted out of place...you could have reopened the stitches inside you're lung."

Angel groaned and looked away, not feeling like being scolded at the moment and wondering how he ended up back at the hospital.

When he turned his head, he got his answer when his eyes met worried and slightly angry hazel green orbs.

"You should have stayed in the hospital." Buffy stated.

He rolled his eyes, "Would have been fine if you didn't slam me into the wall." He mumbled.

Buffy's cheeks went red as Dr. Marko looked over at the little strip of a girl.

"Not on purpose..." she defended.

"Yes, I'm sure you didn't. Well I have other patients much worse off than you to attend to. Be sure to call a nurse if you need something." The doctor told Angel then made his way out, getting the feeling they needed to talk alone.

"I'm sorry." She apologized, looking down and thinking he was angry at her.

He show the flash of hurt on her face and took her hand in his left. "Not your fault...you didn't know."

"I should have..." She said quietly.

There were silent for a few minutes, just holding hands in the white, sterile hospital room.

"Dr. Marko explained to me what happened after I ran out." She began, "I guess I picked the worst possible moment to have a minor breakdown."

"Sorry it took me so long to wake up. Honestly, I wasn't sure I wanted to..." He told her.

"How about now? Do you want to live?" She questioned.

"I'm still breathing aren't I?" He defended.

"Yeah, I guess." She mumbled.

They were silent again, not sure what to say to one another.

"I heard you." Angel broke the silence.

"I didn't say anything." Buffy replied, confused.

"Not now...right before I was taken off life support." He clarified. "I heard you asking me to live."

"Oh" She replied, vividly remembering her frantic speech.

_'Please Angel; you have to wake up now. Please, I'll beg if you want me to, just say it. Squeeze my hand, open your eyes, do something, anything to show you can hear me. There going to kill you! I know you don't want to die, you can't. Show them you won't quit, strong is fighting, fight this, fight for me."_

_Tears streamed down her face, "I don't want to lose you again, you can't disappear for years then show up out of nowhere just to die, that's not how this works. That can't be how this ends, you're alive, you need to stay that way. Please Angel, I…I love you. I don't care if you're human or vampire, I love you. I never stopped. I didn't even realize how much I missed you until you came back into my life. I didn't realize how lonely I was until you were there with me, just sitting beside me, you make me feel whole. Please, please, don't leave me. I don't care if you still love me or not, I want you in my life, any way I can have you, that's all I've ever wanted.'_

"So...what does that mean?" She asked. _  
_

"What do you want it to mean?" He questioned back.

"I asked you first." She countered.

He sighed, "I don't know...I don't even know if I'll stay human..."

"What do you mean?" Buffy snapped, alarmed.

"I mean, I don't even know how Hexlar made me mortal. I don't know if it's meant to be permanent or not. The last thing I want is to start something with you and need to end it again...I don't know if I could handle that again." He admitted.

"Not sure I could either." She agreed.

After a beat, "So what? We pull out a pie chart? Weigh all the pros and cons?" She asked.

"Honestly...right now I'd settle for being able to breath without pain." He grumbled.

"Is it that bad?" she asked, looking at his pale face.

"Isn't all that good." He answered.

"Want me to go? So you can sleep." She offered.

He would have laughed at the idea of sleep while in that room, but he knew laughing would hurt.

"No...wouldn't be able to sleep anyways. I don't think I slept a combined 8 hours the four days I spent here after I woke." He replied, not wanting her to leave.

"You need to sleep if you're going to heal." She stated.

"Not really a choice." He countered.

She stood and gently slid into the twin bed beside him, careful not to hit the IV or any other wires.

"What are you doing?" He asked, mildly amused.

She sat with her back against the headboard and stole the pillow from under his head, forcing him to use her lap in it's place.

"Making you go to sleep." she answered.

"Not gonna happen." He said pessimistically.

"We'll see." She teased optimistically.

...

Half hour later, Angel was sound asleep with his head pillowed in her lap as she gently ran her fingers threw his hair.

...

The days passed and Angel grew stronger with each one. After a week his rehab began for his hand, to get his fingers moving correctly after the broken glass sliced his tendons.

Buffy spend the majority of her days at the hospital with him, keeping him company and helping him sleep. He only really slept when she was there.

...

Finally after nearly three weeks, he was cleared to go home.

Before he could ask, Buffy signed the paperwork to be his guardian until complete recovery, taking over at-home rehab and to monitor his medications for pain.

...

"God, you have no idea how great it is to be out of there." Angel exclaimed as they walked into her apartment.

"I get it, I spent a lot of time there too." She agreed.

"By choice" he added.

"Hey, I could have said 'call me when you get out' and left it at that." She countered.

"I'm glad you didn't. Thank you, for everything you've done...and are still doing." He said sincerely.

"Well someone needs to keep an eye on you." She blurted out of embarrassment.

He chuckled, not completely pain free, but much easier than it had been a few weeks ago. "Yeah, I suppose so."

"So..." She said to divert the conversation, "What do you want to do now you're free?"

"Hmm...you know what I really want...food. Real food, none of the hospital food-like stuff."

"I could eat. You want to go out?" She asked.

He shook his head, "Not sure I'm up for that right now, it's been a long day and I'm sure I look like hell...maybe I can cook?" He offered.

"If what you make is even half as good as the dish you made when you first came over, I'll have to hire you to make all my meals."

He grinned, "All your meals huh? Would I be a live in chef?"

'_Among other things._' she thought.

...

An hour later they sat at the table, enjoying a home-made meal.

"Mmm, that's it. You're not allowed to leave."

"Ever?" He question after swallowing his fork full.

"Nope." she said after another bite.

"Going to chain me to the stove?" He asked, amused.

"Or the bed." She blurted. A second later she realized what she'd said. "Umm...I mean...ahh..." her cheek beat red.

He laughed at her embarrassment, finding it extremely cute.

"We never did talk about that did we?" he asked.

"Chaining you to the bed?" she questioned.

"No, I meant us...if there would be an us." He clarified.

"Oh...that...I guess we didn't..." She said, thinking it over. "So?"

"Well I've been human around two months now...I guess if it was going to wear off...it would have by now." He surmised.

"Does that mean you want to try again?" She asked hopeful.

"I've always _wanted_ to...just not been sure I _could_. Maybe we can take things slow? See how that works?" He asked, not sure she still was interested in him or not.

She nodded, not wanting to look too excited, even though she was jumping around in her head like a kid on Christmas morning. "Yeah, I suppose we could...especially if you keep cooking." She finished by stuffing another loaded fork full into her mouth.

"Oh, that leads to another question." He suddenly remembered.

"What?" She asked, mouth full.

"Umm...was I actually staying here...or did you want me to get my own place?" He asked, unsure.

"We covered that already...you're my cook." She stated while grabbing a second helping from the pan in the middle of the table.

He chuckled, "Ok...well were will I be staying exactly? The couch...you have yet to replace...or Dawn's room."

She looked up at him an realized what he was asking. If he stayed in her room, that meant they would be sleeping together...which was not classified as taking it slow.

"Well...we're both mature adults. And I have a queen...it should be big enough." She said slowly.

"If it's fine with you, it's fine with me." he assured. Inside he was doing the same christmas morning happy dance.

"Ok, that's settled then. So dessert?" She asked, getting up and heading for the freezer to pull out a carton of Cookie dough-fudge-mint-chip ice cream.

"Yes please." he grinned, remembering that last time he ate that ice cream. Specifically remembering the feeling of Buffy's tongue licking it off his chest.

...

Later, after they had eaten ice cream and watched a little TV, they decided to hit the hay.

After a few minutes of awkward changing and brushing their teeth at the duel sinks, they were looking at the bed.

"Mature adults." Buffy muttered under her breath.

Angel nodded, "Yeah...besides...my ribs wont be fully healed for another few weeks...and I need to avoid strenuous activity." He said as a deterrent to what they were both thinking and wanting.

"Yeah, that would just set you back weeks of recovery time...and if you end up at the hospital again, I'm sure Marko will kill you." Buffy reluctantly agreed.

Five minutes later they were locked in a fiery passionate kiss.

...

Neither payed the slightest attention to their plan as they fell onto the bed, lips working in furious overtime, greedily devouring the others.

It wasn't until Buffy leaned down closer and pressed against him ribs that reality came crashing back.

Angel gasped and Buffy immediately rolled off, "Ohmigod! I'm so sorry, are you ok?' She asked in a rush.

He took her hands in his, prying them off his bandaged chest, "I'm fine...just hurt for a second." He admitted.

"Are you sure?" She asked, horrified she broke him.

"Trust me, if it was worse...you'd know it." He told her, knowing if his ribs shifted out of place again, he'd likely be on the floor crying like a baby...if conscious at all.

"Ok, good. I'm still sorry." She repeated.

"I'm not." He said, kissing her cheek.

"So much for slow." She said to him.

He carefully laid back down, motioning for her to join him.

She did, curing up to his right side, his arm wrapping around her.

She pulled his right hand onto her chest, holding it in her hands, playing with his finger. Actually making him do his rehab exercises.

"Your pinky still isn't working?" She frowned, noticing the digit would move up but not down with the others.

"Doc said it wasn't healing right, something about scar tissue." He said, getting tired after such a long day and extremely happy to be in a real bed...even better with Buffy beside him.

"Oh." She said quietly, caressing the stubborn digit.

Without thinking about it he whispered into her ear, "I love you."

She sat up and whipped around, looking wide eyed at him.

"Wrong words?" He questioned uncertainly at her reaction.

"No." She said, laying back down, "Defiantly not wrong." She clarified, looking across at him. "I'm just...surprised."

"Because I asked to take it slow, or because you thought I didn't?" He asked.

"Don't know...both maybe." She told him.

"I've always loved you Buffy, even since I saw you called. I guess I'm to blame if you didn't know that." He said, running his fingers along her back as her head rested on his shoulder.

He was very aware she hadn't said it to him yet.

"Well you did breakup with me, walk out of my life...moved on..." She stated.

"I only did that so you could have a normal life, a chance to be with someone who could give you what I couldn't." He explained.

"Look how well _that_ turned out." She blurted.

"Is that an 'I told you so'?" he asked.

"Maybe it is." She said into his shoulder.

"If this isn't what you want..." he started, getting the cold shoulder feeling from her.

She sat up, placing a hand on his shoulder to keep him down, "Not want I want? Angel, I know you have over 250 years of education under your belt, I know you're an intelligent person, you've caulked full of knowledge and have read more books than I can name...but you're a complete idiot sometimes."

He furrowed his brow and made to ask how, but she continued.

"I told you when I was sixteen...all I want is you. I said it again when I was eighteen, I want my life to be with you. If that's too complicated for you..."

She leaned down and resumed the kiss they had started.

After they broke apart for much needed breath, "Is that clear enough for you, getting good reception?" She asked.

He nodded, "Might still be a little fuzzy..." He lured.

She grinned and found his lips again.

"I love you" She whispered to him, settling down beside him, knowing they couldn't

He smiled, feeling all the tension and worry drain from his heart.

In that moment, everything was perfect.

...

That's when he felt it.

Blinding, searing, gut-retching pain...and it had absolutely nothing to do with his mostly healed ribs.

Angel gasped and sat up, clutching his chest in utter confusion.

_'No..not, this is not possible! I'm human! I can't...I can't be losing my soul!'_

However the pain said different.

Buffy shot awake the second he gasped, at first she thought she hit his ribs, but then she saw the look of terror in his eyes, and she knew.

"No..." She denied, "You can't be...we didn't even have sex!"

Angel tried to move away from her, only succeeding in falling off the bed and collapsing in agony on the floor.

She jumped down after him, trying to pull him to her.

"No...get...away..." He managed to spit out as he tried to stand, tried to run away.

He didn't make it.

The pain intensified and he couldn't help but scream her name as it overtook him, a second later he collapsed.

Buffy caught him as he dropped, hugging him to her, calling his name in terror.

_'Oh god, what if...what if he turned back...what if this was him reverting?'_

"Angel!" she called again, this time reaching a shaky hand his his neck, preying he still had a heartbeat.

Under his skin, there was a light flutter of pulses, his heart pounding from pain and fear.

_'He's alive, thankyouthankyouthankyou, he's still alive.'_

Slowly the world began to reform around him, he became aware of someone talking to him, asking him to open his eyes.

He did, his lids were heavy, but they opened and slowly focused on the beautiful face of the woman holding him.

She looked down into those blank eyes, horrified he did lose his soul, that he was just an empty shell now.

"Angel?" She sobbed out, heart constricting.

His eyes looked into hers, then looked around the room, as if seeing it for the first time.

"It's gone." he whispered hoarsely.

_'Gone! What's gone! His soul!_' Buffy's mind screamed.

"Gone?" She choked out, not wanting to hear it.

"Curse." He clarified, "Curse is gone."

"Angel?" She asked again, feeling a tiny trickle of hope.

His eyes settled on hers again, "I'm here, still me Buffy." He told her, realizing she was freaking.

"Ohthankgod!" She exhaled and covered his face with so many kisses he could barely breathe.

After a moment she pulled back, "What happened?" she demanded.

She helped him sit up, the fall from the bed not doing him any favors for his ribs, but not seeming to have re-injured them either at least.

"I...I don't know. My curse...I felt my soul Buffy...it was released." He said looking at her.

"But...you have it...you do have it don't you!" She started to panic.

"I have it." He said quickly, "The curse let it go...but it didn't leave."

"Well, you're human...alive...it belongs in you, why would it go?" She reasoned.

"Yeah, makes sense. It's weird, I feel...better. Like my soul was out of place before, and now...it...fits...it's where it's supposed to be."

She digested that then asked, "Ok, one question down...but how...we didn't even have sex."

While talking, she helped pull him up and back into the bed, her arms wrapped around him for both his and her own comfort.

He rested his back against the headboard, his body still too wired for sleep. She settled down against his side, resting her head on his shoulder.

"It was never about sex Buffy." He clarified.

"Umm...well based on how we found out about the curse and what we did to trigger it before..."

"I didn't lose my soul making love to you, the trigger was being perfectly happy with you. It's more than physical happiness, it's emotional. If perfect happiness was as simple as an orgasm, I would have lost my soul within months of getting it. "

She pulled herself closer, mindful of his ribs, and looked into his eyes as he spoke.

"You made everything else disappear, all my worries and fears, regrets and pain...you gave me a moment of perfect peace. Not ten minutes ago, I felt it again. We didn't need to consummate our love for me to feel near euphoria knowing it was still there."

He ran his fingers along her cheek, "Just being with you Buffy gives me so much happiness...this is why I had to leave you before. I think we both know how this would have ended if I had been a vampire still...what this would have done to you had I stayed in Sunnydale...this is the risk I couldn't take."

She nodded, fully understand how wrong she had been in her logic then. Realizing had he stayed, had they moved in together or resumed their relationship in Sunnydale, despite their 'careful', he would have reverted...and one of them would have died as a result...best case scenario.

"I'm sorry." she whispered, knowing it was her that cause it...cause him so much pain.

She tried to pull away, but he held her tight, despite her obvious strength over him.

"You have done nothing wrong Buffy, nothing. I certainly can't and won't blame you for making me happy. I love you with every ounce of my being, nothing will ever change that, nothing. You are my perfect happiness, I never lost my soul to anyone else...only you have that power over me."

She turned to face him, tears staining her cheeks, "You slept with other woman since me?" She asked, focusing on that immediately.

He sighed, "Slept with other women? Yes. Did it mean even a fraction of what you mean to me? No. And not to cause a fight, but you can't tell me you've been celibate since we were last together."

"I wouldn't risk becoming a homicidal maniac..." She retorted.

"Without you...neither would I." He countered.

She leaned down and kissed his cheek, not wanting to argue. Anything that happen was in the past...over and done with.

"I'm glad you're ok." She said as she ran her fingers along his cheek, "You scared the hell out of me."

"Scared the hell out of me too…and I've been."

She felt a stab of pain at the comment, knowing he meant no malice in it, but still feeling the pain nonetheless. The horror of having to send the one you love to hell never really fades…neither does the image of killing them.

Suddenly she needed him. Needed to feel him in the way she's always wanted to, his ribs would just have to deal. She knew she needed this, and was positive he needed it too. Especially after what just happened, after the fear of nearly losing him again. It wasn't a conscious thought per say, it was more…primal.

She rolled over and straddled his lap as he rested his back against the headboard.

As he went to question her sudden action, she wrapped her fingers in his longer brown hair and pulled his lips to hers in a fiery kiss.

He certainly didn't object, instead his tongue joined the battle to win each others mouths.

His hands trailed up and down her torso, sides and bottom. His fingers were turning on the switches to her desire as much as her lower region rocking against his groin was rousing him.

After a moment she reached down and freed him from his sweats. In the same breath his fingers pulled down the sides of her pajama bottoms and panties.

Quickly she slipped off the bottoms then raised her arms as Angel lifted off her shirt.

Once the unwanted clothing was gone between them, the kissing resumed.

A short time later, neither could wait anymore. They both moaned in pleasure as Buffy slid onto him, each taking a second to bask in the completeness they felt, as how perfectly they fit together.

But it only lasted a second.

Buffy began to rock and bounce against him, propping her hands on the headboard to keep from hitting his torso and hurting his ribs, her movement focused on his lap.

One of Angel's hands gripped her slender hip, the other pressed down on her shoulder as she slammed down on him.

"Stop." He tried to say, but her movements triggered his release.

"Buffy." He moaned as he came in her, both euphoric at the feeling but guilty and embarrassed as how soon it happened.

She heard him groan out her name, and it was the most beautiful sound in the world to her ears.

She kissed his lips, feeling ecstatic at power she held over his body, at how she made him react…but also a sliver of disappointment it happened so soon.

'_I guess being human has some drawbacks…_' She thought as she kissed.

"I'm sorry." He panted against her, feeling his spent arousal receding.

"I'm not." Her fingers trailing down his cheeks, her lips following.

His hands disappeared to her bottom, lifting her until his mouth could reach her breasts without his needing to bend.

She rose to her knees, still straddling his waist, but higher to help him.

One hand wrapped around a firm breast, caressing the stiff pink nipple as his lips and tongue moving to coax the other.

His free hand slipped down between her legs, still wet and hot from his release.

Slowly he began to pleasure her, using his fingers and mouth to stimulate her most sensitive areas.

With his background with woman, he knew exactly where and what to do.

Within a few minutes, Buffy was panting, her body humming from his movements.

He felt her walls ready to close of his fingers, but he didn't stop, nor did he even slow when she hit her first release.

Her body jerked against him, but he didn't relent his actions and she came again, harder and stronger. Her arms wrapped around his neck, and her breasts were pulled from his lips and fingers as she arched back.

He still didn't cease his fingers furious stimulation.

Again Buffy's body climaxed, this time is was almost painful it felt so amazing.

He only stopped when her walls clamped down hard on his digits; she practically screamed his name in the throws of a final orgasm, her body nearly convulsing from the strength of her release.

She collapsed gasping against him, her heart racing, skin hot and sweaty, cheeks flushed.

He lightly kissed her neck as she tried to catch her breath.

After a few minutes she looked up into his eyes.

He smiled at her, "Did I make up for the stamina flop?"

"And then some." She said while leaning in to conquer his mouth.

He grinned and pulled her tighter.

Any pain in his ribs was long forgotten.

…

Slowly the high from sex receded.

They settled down and relaxed into each others arms, both happy and satisfied, and feeling complete.

The largest pieces of their lives had settled into place, shortly the other pieces would follow suit.

They were putting the pieces back, together.

…

The End

…

P.S. No I didn't leave Angel with Pre-Ejac issues. It's completely natural to every now and again …plus, he's tired and on meds…Buffy didn't suffer for it anyways. ;)

…

So I gave you three choices for an ending. My little Goldilocks kick. Feel free to chose the one best suited for you.


End file.
